Thursday, February 9, 2012

Customer Impossible 2



Me:  And how may I help you Ms. Angry Customer (CX)?

Angry Customer:  Ya,  WHY is my bill so HIGH?

Me:  I’m sorry you feel your bill is too high, let me look at your account I will try to assist you with your bill

Angry CX:  WHATEVER – this better not take long

Me:  Actually your monthly charges have not changed,  you just had a balance from the previous month.

Angry CX:  WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

Me:  You didn’t pay your bill last month and the balance was added to this bill.

Angry CX:   Ya,  but that doesn’ t answer my question,  why is my bill so FUCKING high?

Me:  ok – repeat  previous reply cuz it was pretty straightforward

Angry Cx:  Why are you not answering my question?   I want to talk to someone else- anyone else,  NOW!

Me:  Certainly,  let me get your dumb ass  over to a manager – thank you so much for your patience you illiterate fool…..well something like that but perhaps not so harsh….

And thus just another average day in the telecommunications world…….

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

WTF Moments



This past Monday, I interviewed with an organization that holds the key to my dream job.   I didn’t think that my dream job  existed but it does and it restores my faith that if you dream it, you can do it.    While I’m not certain if I landed this gig,  it was a most interesting interview.  I leave these events literally in a WTF state of mind.  I study, I prepare, obsess, prepare, practice,  and prepare a little more,  but there are probably 500 interview questions that you can ask a candidate in an interview,  and 500 different ways to ask them.  It is  impossible to prepare for what an interviewer will ask.   It is also really frustrating and very unfair,  and honestly I’m sick and tired of these head games.  It’s borderline abuse,  and yet an accepted practice.  In any case,  I have to say it was one of the best interviews I’ve ever had.   These weren’t HR people either,  just your hiring managers –folks that do the job or have done the job you are applying for – therefore it wasn’t a psycho HR person,  with templated job description in hand  waiting for answers that only a psychopathic pathological liar is good at answering  and that is most refreshing!     

Saturday, January 28, 2012

The Business of Thank you notes and other BS

To all job seekers!

Do you feel like a fish in big fishbowl of brown matter?  Are you just plain tired of attending job interviews with incompetent hiring managers who couldn’t interview a monkey if they tried?  Do you feel like a failure each time you get that rejection letter (should you be so lucky to get the template with the chicken scratch-like signature)   Most often,   you are ignored, and discarded.   What’s going on HR Managers?  What happened to the word “Human”   in Human Resources?  
I’m burning bridges people!   I no longer wish to remain silent!    I hear advice like “ oh don’take it personally”  or “  just keep trying”  or “  you weren’t the right fit”  or better yet,  “ you’ll be notified in XX number of weeks once we have made the final decision”   THAT one deserves an expulsion of a hairball!  
When it’s determined that you are no longer a candidate, you become ignored and easily forgotten.  Yes, there was an application submitted by the applicant – in response to a job ad.   However let’s not forget that the job seeker was invited.    This brings the issue of the Thank you note to the forefront.   A trend amongst HR Professionals  is the expectation that a thank you note/ email could make or break your chances of landing the job.  A recent post on the website askamanager.com asked the question:
How soon is too soon to send a thank you following a job interview?”
The majority of the comments , in essence, supported  that a post interview “Thank you” from the job seeker is almost a prerequisite for even being a speck in the tiny brain of the HR manager.
The following is an anonymous post which summarizes this “Thank You”  note absurdity:
“This discussion was pointed out to me today. It's very interesting! As a former hiring manager, a handwritten thank you note was an extra plus for a candidate, but that lack of any such note was more detrimental to stronger candidates than helpful to poor ones. A note is a common courtesy and another chance to sell yourself, shows your interest, and come across as an articulate winner…. “


 Is this mentality for real?   And then further posts go on to say:
“For the record, no one is saying that a thank-you note would influence you to hire someone who you wouldn't hire otherwise or who wasn't strongly qualified. And no one is saying that the lack of a thank-you note would make you change your mind about hiring someone you otherwise planned to hire. However, when you have two equally strong candidates to choose from and you're torn, if one sends a thoughtful post-interview note and one doesn't, then that's going to be something you think about.”
                                
Oh really……???
And what about these so called lovely handwritten, templated letters/ emails? Do HR managers have a special keepsake box for such treasures?   An email folder in their already overly inflated email?   I would bet the farm these notes are sent right to the shredder or delete box.    Most people with a decorum of etiquette will send a sincere thank you note for a wedding gift, or a baby shower gift.    I have sent thank you notes to my cat sitter for taking such good care of my pets while on vacation.     Nevertheless, this  “Thank You”  to HR BS leaves me completely speechless.  The arrogance of HR Hiring Managers is unbelievable.  If you are easily influenced by a templated thank you note, then you are a fool!     Soon job seekers will be expected to bring gifts, loot bags  and/or leave a tip as if a job interview ( that the job seeker was invited to attend) was some kind of service.    I am done with the BS business of the thank you note, thank you very much! 

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Customer Impossible

Customer Impossible

Every time I answer the phone the theme from Mission impossible does a dance in my head.   I don’t know who’s calling but I know for the most part it has to be something complicated and and most likely an impossible request.  Now don’t get me wrong,   there is a solution to each and every problem,  but sometimes the customer doesn’t want to hear the truth – they live in la la land and think I can pull a rabbit out of my ass and just do as requested.  Yes,  I call this customer impossible.   

I’ve been in the customer service for over 20 years.   And I love it.   I love problem solving and  I especially like it when I get to turn one angry customer into a super happy one.   It takes special skills to work in this business,  one being patience and tolerance.  

I can’t disclose who I work for….well,  I guess I could, but I might get fired for doing that.  Let’s just say I work for a telecommunications giant that is one of the most hated companies in Canada and leave it at that.     I’ll admit that it sometimes bothers me when I hear or read or even listen to angry customers make comments  about this company,  one being  how horrible the service is  and how we just are on a mission to rip off consumers.   The truth is,  well, most customers don’t want to hear the truth or read their paper work.     They don’t take the time to understand the role they play In this whole deal.    For example,   customers complain that were unaware that they are signed up for three year terms on new contracts when no one told them that it would be renewed for another 3 years.  Really Mr. Customer – so you call me and yell at me at 4000 decibles that in oct 2009 you were not told you would be signed up for another 3 years.  You remember that conversation?  REALLY?  Bullshit!   Whatever you remember is moote dude – the fact is,  your terms are all laid out to you in your monthly statements – right there in black and while.  Read it dumbo - it’s all very transparent.   24 billing statements later and you never read your bills?  Who are you trying to fool?   

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